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New Math by Bo Burnham - Guitar Chords

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Version 1
            G C Em D
G C G  D

G  C     Em     D         G
what's a pirate minus the ship?
C      Em       D        G
just a creative homeless guy,
C      Em              D            G      C
and an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant?
   Em     D      G
an ironic way to die
C          Em      D       G              C
and what's domain, domain, range (xxy)
  Em           D           G     C
a kid with too much in his pants
        Em    D     G
and two balls minus one,
C   Em            D       G
six titles at the Tour de France

G       C             Em   D
split a decision with long division,
G        C                Em   D
take the circumference of your circumcision
G         C             Em              D
live like your data and when you're all "set"
G          C            Em           D
put it all together and whatever you get

         G    C  Em  D
it's new math...
         G    C  G   D
it's new math...


and what's a bag of chips divided by five,

that's a Nike worker's meal

and Santa Clause multiplied by "i"

well I guess that makes him real,

and the square root of the NBA

is Africa in a box,

how do you trace a scatter plot?

you give the pencil to Michael J. Fox


take the approximate moral proportion

of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion

live like your data, and when you're all "set"

put it all together and whatever you get...


it's new math

it's new math


and if you took a factor tree

of the factors that caused my girl to leave me
you'd have a tree...

full of Asian porn.

C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later)

mathematical minds make industrial smog

and what's the opposite of ln(x),

duraflame the unnatural log


support the farmers with a pro-tractor,

link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)

live like your data...blah blah


word problems

if there's a fat guy in a pastry shop
with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
in order to predict his volume change
you'll need to know the value of pi (pie)
and there's a metal train that a mile long
and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
how long 'til it reaches and kills the driver,
provided that he's a good conductor
and if ten percent of men are gay and
twenty percent of men are Chinese,
what are the odds that a man chosen at random
spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees
and if Kim is half as old as Bobby
who is two years older then twelve year old Tori,
for how many more 30 day months
will their threesomes be considered statutory rape

cause havin' sex is like quadratic expansion
if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
and havin' sex is like doing fractions,
it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
and havin' sex is like math homework,
I do it best when I'm alone in my bed
and squaring numbers are just like women,
if they're under thirteen just do them in your head....

and new math
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